Knowing

The whole weekend in London I’d been waiting for my period to come. Me and Dave stopped using protection in January, but timing meant that it was highly unlikely that anything had happened. And either way I figured it would take around 6 months to achieve anything (Dave’s opinion was that he’d “nail it straight away” – classic Dave).

I was running with Orsi on the Saturday and had been aiming for 32 km (lol!). I did really try and push it in the end, but didn’t make it past 26 through sheer tiredness. I think she noticed that I was just incapable of keeping up cause at some point she stopped pushing, which is very unlike Orsi.

Either way Saturday night was great fun and Sunday too and I didn’t think much of periods or lack thereof, but on the Monday when I woke it was still not there. I messaged Dave to see what he though, and he said to wait a couple of days, knowing very well that I wasn’t going to. When I left the house for Westfield I figured I could just get a pregnancy test in Boots and take it there. Said and done, after lunch I peed.. and stood in the cubicle for 3 minutes. Seeing the vague red line I’m still not fully sure what went through my head, but I felt like I had to get rid of the evidence so I threw the test in the sanitary bin. I would have to take another one at home to prove it to Dave anyway, but I gave him a call and told him, while pacing around in circles through all the people. The feeling was strange, almost not there, not real? It wasn’t joy or happiness or panic for that matter… I was just unreal, unbelievable. Both my mum and Dave told me to wait and check with a doctor first, which sounded like the sensible thing to do.

For the rest of the journey back to Amsterdam I walked around mostly like a zombie. Vacant expression and aimless wandering, and once I got back home I took another test, also positive. We were having people over for games that evening so didn’t really have much time to discuss, so we just agreed not to tell anyone yet, and to call the GP in the morning.

Said and done, and the GP had time that same morning.

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