Week 6 – Day 1

It’s been a good weekend. We’ve entered the start of week 7 yesterday, which means Justin is now the size of a pea! And this week, the chances of miscarriage goes down from around 15% now to 10% at the end of the week w00p w00p Fingers crossed that we make it.

I’ve lost 1 kg of weight since the weekend before, which I think is ok but not ideal, so not something I want to keep doing, as we’re apparently entering a “growth spurt” this week. I think it’s mainly cause I’ve been trying to be healthy with food, plus I’m not drinking any alcohol and still exercising the same as before. Basically I need to up my food intake a bit which is easier said than done since I now feel totally indifferent to most flavours. It’s not that I feel sick eating anything, it’s just that I feel thoroughly unenthusiastic about food. I eat when I’m hungry, but nothing is exciting food or flavour wise. On Saturday Dave suggested pizza and I totally broke down crying in public cause pizza felt like the last thing on earth that I wanted. These hormones are killing me.

The whole running thing has also thrown me off a bit. Although I can still run and it’s not really a problem, what I have noticed is that I need to go really slow. A pace where a could normally hold a steady conversation now makes me completely breathless, and raises my pulse like crazy!

What else… The nausea doesn’t come in attacks anymore, but is there as a constant underlying thing. Not so bad that I need to throw up or can’t do stuff. But it’s a kind of annoying constant mild motion sickness kind of feeling. Aaah, the joys of pregnancy :/

Week 5 – Day 0

5 full weeks.

The thought of miscarriage has been playing on my mind. 20% chance… but constantly decreasing to about 2% by week 12. Still though, 1 in 5. Scary numbers.

I had a killer panic cry this morning, completely out of the blue. I think it scared Dave a bit. Went from manic crying to laughing to manic crying again. Strange one these hormones.

Week 4 – Day 4

Apparently Orsi sensed that something was up. I sent her a message yesterday about money for the washing machine in the London flat, and she replied saying that she thought I was gonna tell her I was pregnant!

So I figured I might as well tell her. We weren’t gonna tell anyone besides parents for a while, but she would have realised at the marathon anyway. Obviously she was super happy! Feels like everyone around me is super happy, and of course I feel lucky and privileged to be in this situation (I know there are people who really struggle to get pregnant, and there are people who don’t have the great circumstances that I do), but no “euphoria” or super joy.

At the same time it’s fascinates me so much the more I read about the development of the embryo. How all the cells are pre-programmed and how there’s already a tiny (sort of) heart in there.

PS. Cried when someone won at Pointless on the TV and again when I saw a picture of an old Dutch woman voting… Hormones??