I’m so fed up… The two or three weeks left feel like an eternity. I’m googling natural ways to induce labour, but it’s all old wives tales. Once my ribs aren’t hurting anymore I’ll start trying the different things to get this baby out. At the same time I don’t really feel ready yet. There are still things I want to finish before she comes, but can’t do right now because of this imposed rest to heal period. It’s driving me mental. Maybe tomorrow I can go outside..? Maybe…
These last 10 days have been trying. First the cough and fever and hospital. Then this weekend, as the cough has been persistent, the left side of my ribcage has become completely inflamed. Every movement hurts. We’ve been in Germany over the weekend which has been very lovely, but probably not the best thing to do in terms of resting and healing.
This week I really need to do nothing at all. I can’t even imagine the pain of going into labour if this hasn’t healed yet. Went to the doctors again, but because I’m so far along in the pregnancy, there is nothing at all they can give me to reduce the pain or the inflammation. It’s literally a matter of move and use my muscles as little as possible. Of course it doesn’t help that I’m still coughing a bit, and every time I do it feels like lots of little knives stabbing my ribs.
This pregnancy really has been great in terms of how easy it’s been, and although what’s happening now is not really to do with the pregnancy, it really sucks that it’s made me feel so weak and as if my body can’t manage as well as usual.
40 days left until due date!! Pram-gate might have come to an end with a woman in Rotterdam selling one that’s never used. Please let us be able to get this sorted so we can tick it off the list already. I’m so sick of prawns already… bet she’s gonna hate lying in it anyway.
Yesterday at dinner she was properly pushing my ribs outwards. It hurts. I think she’s now actually filling up the entire space in the womb and it’s getting very tight.
I randomly started calling her “trollet”. That’s the troll in Swedish. Not like a big evil mean trolley, but a small cheeky mischevious one. I have a really old carved out troll in my room back home at my parents… and under it it says: Ut i varje sinne, finns ett troll längst därinne. Not quite sure how to translate “sinne” it’s sort of the like soul/essence of a person and the quote says that deep down in everyone there’s a little troll lurking… sort of. Meh, it works in Swedish. Anyway, enough about trolls. Here’s the bump! Plus Dave!
It’s been a busy week! Dutch classes on Monday and Thursday evenings, pre-natal course on Tuesdays, and the weekend was fully of doing things and getting the baby room sorted. Feels nice to be a bit more effective, but tiring too.
Yesterday we did an inventory of a the clothes we have, and put stuff into drawers, we’re quite covered for the beginning, but a couple of things are still missing, so will need to get those over the next month. And of course we need to actually continue with and finish off the baby room!
This week’s pre-natal course talked a lot about pain, and it was actually really interesting, and got me thinking quite a lot. The woman explained about the components of pain; the physical pain itself which is made up of the intensity and the duration, the brain’s interpretation of that pain, and then the psychological component which contributes to how we perceive the pain. For example, if you’ve had previous traumas involving pain, then your mind is already expecting it to be unbearable… So I was thinking about what kind of pain I’ve experience and how I’ve felt about it… Overall I can’t say that I’ve been through many physically painful experiences in my life, which I’m very happy about. But even the ones that I have been through, are probably not comparable to birth.
For example…. tattoos? So the most painful one I had was the one on my thigh. Not because of any one component, but the duration (5 hours), in combination with the type of needle used (colouring – so very scratchy, rather than lining), and the location of my upper thigh which is quite sensitive. I remember thinking at the end, that if it lasted for more than another 5-10 minutes, I’d have to give up and ask him to stop. But then I was having this thought for well more than the last hour. I guess this means, that if i break the pain down into more manageable chunks (whether they are realistic or not), it helps me cope for that pre-defined time period. Now with contractions, the peak of pain is only a couple of seconds at the time, so maybe it’ll be helpful to keep that in mind, when it’s at its worse.
The other painful(ish) experience I came to think about was marathon training and running, and even all those times I’ve ran a half-marathon while being a tad unprepared. For the marathon it’s the sheer exhaustion and aching of the legs, and as for being unprepared, it’s usually my knee that starts hurting first. Whenever it’s been too painful to run it’s always been possible to push through for a little longer, or walk for a bit and finish the race anyway, and the feeling in the end makes you forget very quickly what you’ve been through. For the long term tiredness of a marathon, and keeping going for hours when you want to stop, I guess the preparation is the main thing, and again, the totally ecstatic feeling at the end. So the parallel to childbirth here I guess is that I’m preparing (by learning about it), and that the feeling in the end will make it worthwhile.
All in all some very interesting thoughts have been prompted, and although I still feel like I have no idea what to expect, and I’m in no way going to underestimate the pain, I do think that it’s going to be doable.